I laughed when I realized how many years it took to discover who I am.... by first zealously exploring who I am not

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Blenders can be good

Here's to the first part of the process.........

For those in the know there have been a lot of changes happening in my life. I am thoroughly convinced that God has taken everything in my life and put it in a blender and turned it on high. Yep. That sounds about right. When all this started with losing my job in June at Waypoint, I was convinced my life is over. Today, I am convinced that my life is just beginning. I believe that God is pulling, dragging, yanking, calling, wooing, but intentionally placing me on a path that I wonder if I would have ever found had circumstances not happened the way they did. I am even more convinced that His plans are going to be so much better than my plans were going to be. The hardest part of all change is the breaking and changing of relationships. I have found myself dealing with rejection from people that I thought would always be there for me. The lesson that I keep hearing over and over and over from God is that there is no replacement in my life for HIM. He is the only person that will ALWAYS, CONSISTENTLY, NEVER let me down. Honestly it's a lesson that I think he's been trying to teach me for many many years. While I hate the pain involved in learning it, I know that the lesson learned is going to result in beautiful growth for my life. I'm learning that the growth that comes from pain is a lasting growth. Not just a lesson. I don't want to just be taught a lesson, I want to grow and change and be who God is calling me to be. I'll be honest, it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Because of my human condition I have to work through the hurt, pain and misunderstandings associated with change. I also have to work through my need to have everyone like me. I have to realize that God ALWAYS loves me. But more than realize it I have to believe it which brings me to:

The second part of this process.....

With the loss of my job I begin the process of OH CRAP I have to pay my bills. A friend of mine told me about a company called It Works Global. This company sells amazing supplements and nutriments. (I will be more than happy to tell you about their amazing products but that's not what this is about). My friend Glory introduced me to the company back in March and I signed up to sell but because of my work schedule I really didn't have the energy or focus to put into it. With the loss of my job she kept telling me you need to do this, this is going to help your family. So she talked me into going to a conference in Nashville for training. The conference was called Ignite and honestly I went just to be with her. However, God did something amazing in my heart. On Saturday am we all showed up at the ballroom to get ready. Lots of dancing, celebrating, excitement, hype, etc. You get the picture. I watched all these people so excited about the money they were making, the products, the company. And then it happened. God spoke so clearly to me and said This is what I want you to do. And then the OTHER thing happened. I. didn't. believe. it.

I sat in my chair in that conference all day and cried. ALL DAY! I couldn't stop. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I alternated between wanting to run away and wanting to hear everything that was said. I wanted to be convinced (because obviously God saying it was not enough) that it would work for me. Because honestly what I believed was that everything was great, it just would never happen for me. At one point we broke up into groups and the lady asked What's your number? Not the monetary number of how much money you need to make but the number you need to change your life. I sat there and thought of all the dreams I had buried deep in my heart and for the first time in a long time I saw this little shoot of grass burst through the soil. As the day ended this amazing godly woman named Tina stood up an addressed the group. She looked at everyone in the room and made a very simple statement. "What do you decide that you deserve"? At the moment the switch flipped. My resolve grew. and I knew. I KNEW... do you hear me I KNEW that my life was taking a path that God was laying before me. I knew it would be work. Success is not convenient, but you know what neither is ministry, or parenting or any other thing of value in my life. You work at what you know God has called you to do. One of the sweet ladies there shared this little tidbit "We have so many voices in our head and they all need to AGREE!!!!"

So what does this all have to do with the title blenders can be good? OK, I'm glad you asked......

I love ice cream. And in my house we like to make milkshakes. We mix in milk, chocolate, vanilla, ice cream and other goodies to put together this wonderful treat. However, did you know that other people use their blenders to make like healthy things? I know, me either!!! My friend makes smoothies everyday. He mixes in blueberries, kale, spinach, bananas, juice, carrots. All assorted items. I do not like kale or spinach. I'm not real fond of blueberries either. However what comes out of that blender is delicious!!! Here's my point. Losing my job sucked, losing my friends... yeah another suck. But when all that is blended with an opportunity to be home with my kids, to help run our household, to find THE PATH that God has for me. It makes everything else go down better. Because all of it is healthy and good for you, even if it doesn't taste good when it is mixed the RIGHT way it is delicious! Every single day my son Zachary looks at me when I pick him up from school and says Mom I'm so glad you get to pick me up and be home with me. Do you know how priceless that is? How it makes my heart sing. It makes that little shoot in my heart grow a little more. It is Good. Change is hard but it is GOOD.

I want to encourage you. Maybe your going through a change in your life you just don't understand. Maybe your looking at circumstances and your thought process can't even fathom how this will work out. Find God. Seek Him, Search for Him, Talk to Him, Yell if you have to. but FIND GOD. Because He works out EVERYTHING for our good. Trust Him. Even the things the enemy means for evil He will turn them into good. No matter what you are given... job loss, grief, depression, illness, cancer, desperation, hopelessness?He will add to it just the right mix to make it exactly what you need... Just hang in there and don't quit. Don't quit don't quit don't quit. ARE YOU LISTENING???????? DON'T QUIT!!!! Your path could appear tomorrow. DON'T QUIT!!! You can do this! I promise.. He will not fail you or let you go!!!!!!!