"Your grandparents would be so ashamed of you"

"Your grandparents would be so ashamed of you"

These words were uttered on a friends post on facebook this week and I read them with my mouth open. Immediately I felt the rage that releases the ungodly side of me that I do a pretty good job of keeping contained. I took a step back and really thought what do you say to someone that says that? The post of course was political based and the two sides were just really lobbing insults and comments wherever they could. I made a statement and another friend mentioned that she had a received a few flesh wounds from some of my posts and the comments people have made to her. I have my own scars as well from insults, name calling, flat out bullying. One lady I deleted from my page then began texting and messaging me despite me telling her to stop. One lady even started commenting on a video where Jeremy and I were doing worship. I can't imagine there is any family that hasn't been touched by this. Gone by the wayside is any sort of decency to have a conversation. It's like we look for knives to just stick into people. We literally look for what will hurt them back more than what they said hurt us. I mean if both people bring guns and they both shoot each other till they are dead- who do we think is going to win?

What in the world is wrong with us???????? How in the world have we become people that resort to behavior we would never tolerate in our kids?

My friend that posted this very much is a challenger. She isn't divisive- she truly seeks out what is the answer here? She reframes conversations and thoughts because she knows that in doing that we all grow and are forced to think through things on our own instead of being fed what we are supposed to believe. I've discovered in the past few years that I have a lot of people like that in my life. As I have found myself less inside one box or the other, I've seen that this middle ground is tricky. I have always loved that I have friends that run both sides. I have many Republican friends- good folk, love God, some don't, some aren't sure, love their families. I also have many Democratic friends- good folk, love God, some don't, some aren't sure, love their families. I have friends who love Trump and friends who hate him. I have friends who think guns are pure evil and those who have an arsenal locked in their gun cases at home. I love the diversity because it pushes me to look beyond what I'm "supposed" to believe to seek truth in each individual situation because I look at the person I love and know that I can't dismiss them when I disagree because that's not how you treat people.

Except, apparently that is now exactly how we treat people.

After reading someone tell my friend that her grandparents would be ashamed of her I have really done some thinking and this is where I have landed. I don't fit in either parties box. The only box that I fit 100% in, that has to measure up 100% of the time, is the box where I call myself a Christian. That box- and everything that empties out of it has to be exactly what it's supposed to be. Because at the end of the day my life, my opinions, my thoughts may never sway someone in an election, or how to feel about borders, or kids being detained or not. It will never change our taxes, our property values or even whether or not we should be creating sanctuary cities.

But it will absolutely, 100%, sway people on what they think about the Jesus I profess to serve. When they click on my profile on facebook and they see Jesus this or a post about my church or a video of me playing the piano and then they see me literally tear someone down to the bone about something I disagree with- no one wins but that person most definitely loses any interest in what I have to say. And if I'm going to spend my time trying to convince somebody of what to believe- It is not going to be about a man or a law that isn't my source of life anyway. Because here's the truth- Jesus never argued in the Bible with anyone, ever. He knew the truth and he walked in it. He lived it and didn't have to spend his time convincing people it was truth- because their lack of belief didn't diminish his truth at all. He didn't teach in the temple or on the hill side and in the middle of the message do an ad for the current government. He knew that in the end- that wasn't where people needed to have their faith anyway.

Christians have got to stop sacrificing our testimony on the altar of politics. 

We have got to stop thinking that our truth is somehow diluted when someone dares to believe something we don't. Even if we think it's wrong. The bottom line is that people believe things many times based on the life they have lived- so ask them why they believe, where they are coming from, listen and then listen some more. Allow them to share and open up. Create community and then when you show them you are safe, that they can share their story with you- and then share yours as well. Because let's be real- you believe what you believe because of your life as well. And maybe your's looks very different from theirs- but regardless it shaped your worldview- just like theirs has been shaped.

There's a better way than what is playing out right now. Someone has to at some point say I'm going to respond differently. I'm going to value the box that matters. The box that truly will change someones life. Find that box and pour out of that one. We will all be better for it- it might even change someone's life.

The act of being a class act

I had something happen that I just haven't been able to get off my mind. A friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook of a new decor item in her bedroom. As her friends oohed and ahed over it, one of her family members made the comment that she must of made her bed in order to take the picture and how long had it been. Immediately, her fierce and loyal friends began posting meme's to the shadiness of posting that comment. Because I have no filter and tend to call a spade a spade, I told her it was rude and how it was perceived. See I have that family member that critiques and has an opinion on everything. I control it by just not telling them anything. I know what it feels like to have someone mean well, but still just say something that is flat out rude disguised as a joke. Putting "hee hee" or a smiley face does not make it less rude or pull the sting away. But then they responded with how they were making it right and how sorry she was it had been taken that way. I looked at all the comments from all the people who were trying to help my friend and I felt guilty. So I asked her forgiveness for what I am sure felt like a gang beating up on her. I have always said I don't have a tribe, I have a mob. One of my friends posted in another group that I was class act for apologizing. I felt good about that for all of 2 seconds as the realization hit me that on any given day I could go either way. Every day I am faced with decisions where I have to choose my response. Some are easy to choose the right way-I wouldn't steal or lie to someone- that's an easy right choice. For that day I chose to be kind and understanding to the fact that I wasn't privy to a lifetime of relationship and the private texts she had already sent apologizing. I could have continued to rip her a new one even after she apologized because it doesn't remove the fact that she said it to begin with. Every choice, every situation is a tight rope walk wondering which way am I going to fall- in the pit with pettiness, lack of grace, anger, rudeness or will walk the rope being as my friend says "a class act". As I have thought about this, I have decided that really it's all an act. At the end of the day, anything I handle with grace and compassion is only from the Jesus in me. My flesh is not drawn to act that way. It is drawn toward self serving and my own opinion and beliefs. All flesh is drawn in that direction. It's why Jesus calls us to die to ourselves. I heard someone say one time the first one dead wins. I love this because when we are truly sacrificing all that is in us, all that is left is Him. So may you find a new way to die today. May I find a new way to die today. See you at the finish line because when we live a life dead to ourselves- the world wins Jesus.