I was inspired this week by a post from my friend Julie Presley. She wrote an amazing blog to her future daughter in law and it inspired me. What would I want my son's future wife to know about herself, us, him and our family. As someone who is on the cusp of having a grown child and another quickly coming up behind him I often have thoughts of the future. I'm thinking about the kid in my house who can't remember to pick up his clothes living somewhere other than my home, or being responsible for another person. It's crazy. It's out of my control and it terrifies me. So here are my thoughts to my future daughter-in-law:
I prefer not to use the words in-law because once you marry my son you become part of this family. You aren't an attachment or a branch, you are grafted in and part of the tree that is us. You are part of my son and because he loves you and chose you, I also choose you. I will be for you and always treat you like one of mine, because that's what this becoming one thing is all about. You won't ever have to worry about what I say about you because it will be good, uplifting, and loving. I want you to know that I am here for you and my goal is to hold up you and my son knowing that God has a great plan and I don't have all the answers. Fair warning though, I do have an opinion but I pray that I can always give it in love and you don't have to do it, just know that at the end of every circumstance we will always be here for you. I have prayed for you over the years. Not every day or part of some great plan, but in moments where I see my son with a joyful smile on his face or after a day where I just wonder what the future will be, I think about you and I pray that you know how loved and welcomed you will be in our family. That you are safe and cared about. That wherever you are, God is moving in your life and protecting you from all the wounds the world can inflict. I pray for you when my son tells me he feels called into the ministry to be an evangelist and I know what a challenging life that is to trust 100% on God's provision and that he has the faith for that. I pray that God is preparing you for what that looks like and lets you know that at the end of a hard week you have a safe place to land always at our home. I pray for your heart. That is is cherished by not only my son, but by everyone in your life now because it's now that writes a path for how you live and love later. So protect your heart. Surround yourself with people who hold it gently. But don't hide from pain, because it is in the pain that you find the deepest part of the heart of God and experience His great love for you. I pray that you are brave. That you find strength and courage to stand up and be who God has called you to be. That even through the struggle you see the value in pushing through. Brave people change the world. Brave people raise brave kids (to quote Jen Hatmaker) so be brave. Be strong. Be courageous. I pray that you are, well, YOU. That you don't sacrifice who you are to meet some standard that the world is looking for. Be real- by being real and being you- you will see more and experience more and you will attract real people. Real people can be offsetting in a world that is built on the fake. Fake profiles, fake pictures, fake happiness. Be you. Feel the sadness, feel the struggle, feel the joy, feel the fullness of everything life has to offer because one day you will have a child and they need to know what it means to be real so they aren't caught in the cycle of fake that so many in this world are. Finally, I feel like owe you an apology. I've tried. They put the toilet seat down but it doesn't always look clean in there. I really did try. But they can do their laundry and they will respect you. In fact, they will honor you and hold you in high regard so in the end you really did get a winner. Plus their dad can fix anything so that get's the parents points as well.
Be Brave. Be Real. Be You.
Your future Mom