The YES before Him

Had dinner last week with some great amazing people from Elijah House who were in to spend some time with our group. As they shared and prayed with me Sue told me to make sure that I put my YES before Him. I thought it sounded great but I really didn't get the full force and meaning of it until today. Normally I love weekends like this. Lots of togetherness with all the people that I love the most, lots of worship, lots of great words coming out, lots of just good ole sop it up with a biscuit presence of God. But all weekend I fought to engage and participate. I was so tired and felt so drained and so wiped out that I didn't even enjoy it. Which is really weird for me. I'm usually up for anything. Saturday night we had service and it was wonderful, left the church about 9 and I could barely keep my eyes open to drive. Sunday night we had another service and on the way there both my kids had major meltdown (in their defense I was gone every night last week and then all weekend) and so I decided to bow out of the service and stay home with them. As I sat at home with my kids, just spending time with them and investing in them, and still feeling exhausted I was overcome with guilt for not being there to play, and for letting down Jeremy, for letting down Kerri, for letting down Bill and Sue and even for letting my kids down and pushing them to their point of breakdown. But today I realized. I finally realized what Sue was sharing with me and what God was trying to effect in my life. God has called me to a path. He has put a destiny, and a purpose that is for me. My answer is YES with no backing out, no letting go. I have never been as exhausted as I was this weekend. When I tell you it was weird, it was weird. I couldn't even engage in what was happening. It was like a slumber had just come on me. Which I know some of you may not understand but just trust me it was weird. I don't know why that happened. I don't know if God let me feel that way to show me that I have to push through it or if I felt that way so He could teach me boundaries of what my kids can handle, but as I sit here tonight I know that regardless of the reason, it pushed me today to seek Him and to try and find out what was happening. The result is that I know that I can't stop the race just because I'm tired, or overwhelmed or frustrated or..., or...., or...... Get the point? I have lots of excuses that I can use. Lot's of outs that I can take but if I do that I miss out. This translates to my spiritual walk and my physical walk. I'm working to be healthy. I've made a decision to eat differently and make better food choices. Regardless of my mood and even my convenience (cause believe me, with all the sports, theater and practices, it's a whole lot easier to swing through a drive-thru) I have to make up my mind before the decision is there or I sabotage everything I have worked for. So my answer is YES. No backing down. No leaving the path. No matter what falls in the road. No matter what I move forward. I don't stop. I don't quit. I have given my YES and that cancels out every No that comes after it. The beautiful part is that when the big dead tree falls in the road, I am surrounded by people that will help me cut it out of the way. People that will help drag the dead limbs so that I can keep going. People that see the vines growing in my heart and around my life that will say "hey... if you don't get rid of that it's going to stop you so let me help you trim that." What an amazing analogy of my journey. What an amazing picture. It makes me wish I could paint it just so I could see it on paper the way I see it so vividly in my mind. So my answer is YES and I want to challenge you. What is God calling you to do or to be? What goals do you have for yourself? Put your YES out there. Put the YES before everything else so that it is ingrained and there is no other option. Because really what option do you have that is better than what He has for you?